Sunday, December 12, 2010
INVESTIGATING OPPRESSIVE LANGUAGE
Black lies. White lies. Why should the lies that are crass and all out to deceive be black? Or the lies that are harmless be white? I wonder. By implication does that mean white people – high castes and the whites - can tell only white lies or only black people (dalits and Negros) tell only black lies? The language we speak innocently carry an oppressive bias. About a 25 percent of the words and phrases in English language carries this oppressive bias some form or the other. Often these biases are filtered into our unconscious self creating an oppressive psychology.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Children’s day – a day dedicated to make every child in the world feel special, loved and cared for. Sampurna Montfort College, in collaboration with Indian Catholic Youth Movement, endeavours to make this one day a special one for over 500 underprivileged children from various orphanages and children’s homes across Bangalore. Learning through fun - the day would include a fun fest, a good luncheon and workshops keeping in mind the theme of the International Year of Youth day – “Rise & Shine for a Better World”.
Date: 14 November 2010
Time: 9 am to 4 pm
Venue: Maria Nikethan Ground, Thomas Town,Bangalore
Join us in our attempt to spread happiness to these children. Could you sponsor a child or more, 150 per head being the expenses per child [food, games, and a memento]? Your donation will go a long way in making children feel special and loved on children’s day 2010.
Thank You for your generous spirit and the deep desire to rise and shine to make it a better world for our children.
With Warm Regards
Date: 14 November 2010
Time: 9 am to 4 pm
Venue: Maria Nikethan Ground, Thomas Town,Bangalore
Join us in our attempt to spread happiness to these children. Could you sponsor a child or more, 150 per head being the expenses per child [food, games, and a memento]? Your donation will go a long way in making children feel special and loved on children’s day 2010.
Thank You for your generous spirit and the deep desire to rise and shine to make it a better world for our children.
With Warm Regards
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Secret of Staying in Love in Marriage
There are more happy marriages than unhappy ones. But for those who go through the traumas of failed marriages, perhaps, happiness in marriage is a utopia. Soma (not real name), a divorcee brooding over her own life pondered, there is no such thing called happy marriages; what exist are all struggling marriages. Perhaps she is more than true; then, struggle characterizes growth and meaningfulness. I remember a friend writing to me about her grandparents some time back. I translate it for you from the vernacular:
“I am not writing about myself. I want to tell about my grandmamma. The grandfather was sick and was bedridden. My grandmamma used to stay in the room next to my granddad’s. There were no words spent between them during the whole day. Whenever got opportunity she used to complain against the grandfather: “that was not given,” “this did not happen.” “Never did he understand my mind - your grandpapa.” This was the grand mamma’s favourite dialogue. As if it was a habit.
However, my grandmamma kept everything in mind - whether the grandfather ate or not, whether water bottle has freshwater in it, whether he took medicine five times during the day on time. How she cared him! Often I have seen her sitting close to him, next to his head when he was asleep during the afternoons. I wondered whether the grandfather was awake or not.
The grandfather used to request me, “You would remind the 20th, won’t you? That is the day of your grandmother’s birthday.” The grandmother’s birthday was on 20th January. But for granddad every 20th was 20th January. He would say, “There is money in that laskhmi-bandar, (piggybank). Open that cupboard and you would find it. With that money bring sweets, or bring pan if she needs.”
I have to show my grandfather I am taking money from the lakhi-bandar –grandfather’s money of course, and not my own money. I pretended well. The Grandfather never knew it was grandmother who put the money in the lakhibandar saving it from her own income. How long ago the money collected by grandfather was spent up!
After the grandfather’s death grandmother did not live long. During those days I saw a wonderful relationship.”
I am touched by the wonderful relationship of this senior couple. Wonder of their love was not something got overnight. They grew into it over the years through strenuous efforts of understanding, caring and being with each other. This is the result of a commitment, struggle or whatever one may want to call it. And the commitment to love is what bride and bridegroom undertake at the moment of their wedding.
Carl Ransom Rogers (1902-1987) father of person-centred therapy reflecting upon his own marriage which he entered at the age of 22 and stayed on in love for life spoke of two types of marriage, two that exist at opposite ends of a continuum. One is “geared” marriage in which each partner supplements the deficiencies of the other and they mesh comfortably, sometime too placidly. The other is the conflictual marriage, in which the success of the marriage depends on the fact that the couple is continually endeavouring to work out constructively the many conflicts which would otherwise destroy the marriage (Kirschenbaum, H. (1990) The Carl Rogers Reader, 35). Roger says his conjugal life lied in between, and perhaps most of marriages too - often moving often from one spectrum to the other. Sugatha (name changed for anonymity) who is in her twenty-second year of marriage thinks this to be valid.
“The first three months of our marriage was smooth,” she recalled, “Shajan was opposite of what I am. He was all preoccupied with his career, work, efficiency. He hardly finds time to talk, to relax. I am on the other hand an artistic person, very private and an introvert. But then he was mature enough to understand that. We have worked it out. We have been trying, quite successfully, to deal constructively with most of our conflicts and differences.” Sugatha’s case is not unique. Perhaps every couple would be saying that my husband or my wife is so different from me. To them marriage and family therapist Soven has this to say, “Realising the difference and dealing with it by mutual discussion and accommodating each other in each other’s inner world may find themselves growing to love each other.”
“I am not writing about myself. I want to tell about my grandmamma. The grandfather was sick and was bedridden. My grandmamma used to stay in the room next to my granddad’s. There were no words spent between them during the whole day. Whenever got opportunity she used to complain against the grandfather: “that was not given,” “this did not happen.” “Never did he understand my mind - your grandpapa.” This was the grand mamma’s favourite dialogue. As if it was a habit.
However, my grandmamma kept everything in mind - whether the grandfather ate or not, whether water bottle has freshwater in it, whether he took medicine five times during the day on time. How she cared him! Often I have seen her sitting close to him, next to his head when he was asleep during the afternoons. I wondered whether the grandfather was awake or not.
The grandfather used to request me, “You would remind the 20th, won’t you? That is the day of your grandmother’s birthday.” The grandmother’s birthday was on 20th January. But for granddad every 20th was 20th January. He would say, “There is money in that laskhmi-bandar, (piggybank). Open that cupboard and you would find it. With that money bring sweets, or bring pan if she needs.”
I have to show my grandfather I am taking money from the lakhi-bandar –grandfather’s money of course, and not my own money. I pretended well. The Grandfather never knew it was grandmother who put the money in the lakhibandar saving it from her own income. How long ago the money collected by grandfather was spent up!
After the grandfather’s death grandmother did not live long. During those days I saw a wonderful relationship.”
I am touched by the wonderful relationship of this senior couple. Wonder of their love was not something got overnight. They grew into it over the years through strenuous efforts of understanding, caring and being with each other. This is the result of a commitment, struggle or whatever one may want to call it. And the commitment to love is what bride and bridegroom undertake at the moment of their wedding.
Carl Ransom Rogers (1902-1987) father of person-centred therapy reflecting upon his own marriage which he entered at the age of 22 and stayed on in love for life spoke of two types of marriage, two that exist at opposite ends of a continuum. One is “geared” marriage in which each partner supplements the deficiencies of the other and they mesh comfortably, sometime too placidly. The other is the conflictual marriage, in which the success of the marriage depends on the fact that the couple is continually endeavouring to work out constructively the many conflicts which would otherwise destroy the marriage (Kirschenbaum, H. (1990) The Carl Rogers Reader, 35). Roger says his conjugal life lied in between, and perhaps most of marriages too - often moving often from one spectrum to the other. Sugatha (name changed for anonymity) who is in her twenty-second year of marriage thinks this to be valid.
“The first three months of our marriage was smooth,” she recalled, “Shajan was opposite of what I am. He was all preoccupied with his career, work, efficiency. He hardly finds time to talk, to relax. I am on the other hand an artistic person, very private and an introvert. But then he was mature enough to understand that. We have worked it out. We have been trying, quite successfully, to deal constructively with most of our conflicts and differences.” Sugatha’s case is not unique. Perhaps every couple would be saying that my husband or my wife is so different from me. To them marriage and family therapist Soven has this to say, “Realising the difference and dealing with it by mutual discussion and accommodating each other in each other’s inner world may find themselves growing to love each other.”
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Even village priest will frequently open their temple ceremonies with the following beloved invocation:
O Lord, forgive three sins that are due to my human limitations:
Thou art everywhere, but I worship you here;
Thou art without form, but I worship you in these forms;
Thou needest no praise, yet I offer you these prayers and salutations,
Lord, forgive three sins that are due to my human limitations.
~~~ Huston Smith (American professor)
O Lord, forgive three sins that are due to my human limitations:
Thou art everywhere, but I worship you here;
Thou art without form, but I worship you in these forms;
Thou needest no praise, yet I offer you these prayers and salutations,
Lord, forgive three sins that are due to my human limitations.
~~~ Huston Smith (American professor)
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Idiotic verses (without Malice ofcourse)
What makes us (excluding me, of course) all idiots – no, close to idiots?
That’s because we eat idlies in the morning,
Idles our mind,
Worship idols all the time
And Discuss always ideas
All are close to idiot, don’t you see?
Don’t you worry.
Don’t go to a counsellor,
For even a year has foolish day in April!
What makes us (excluding me, of course) all insane - no close to insane?
That’s because we walk through the a same lane,
That some long time cows walked in vain
Carrying within our head thoughts inane
Our ladies wear a mane
All are close to insane, don’t you see?
Don’t you worry,
Don’t go to a counsellor,
For even from this we can gain.
What makes all (excluding me of course) good counsellors - no, close to counsellors?
All are good sellers,
At the end of the day, they count.
All are close to counsellors, don't you see?
Don’t you worry,
Don’t go to a counsellor
Don’t you see everywhere all are clowning and selling and counting?
That’s because we eat idlies in the morning,
Idles our mind,
Worship idols all the time
And Discuss always ideas
All are close to idiot, don’t you see?
Don’t you worry.
Don’t go to a counsellor,
For even a year has foolish day in April!
What makes us (excluding me, of course) all insane - no close to insane?
That’s because we walk through the a same lane,
That some long time cows walked in vain
Carrying within our head thoughts inane
Our ladies wear a mane
All are close to insane, don’t you see?
Don’t you worry,
Don’t go to a counsellor,
For even from this we can gain.
What makes all (excluding me of course) good counsellors - no, close to counsellors?
All are good sellers,
At the end of the day, they count.
All are close to counsellors, don't you see?
Don’t you worry,
Don’t go to a counsellor
Don’t you see everywhere all are clowning and selling and counting?
Friday, September 17, 2010
A History of India
This piece is not mine of course. It is from an essay competition entry. But it is hilarious. try read it. (With all the original spellings retained.)
A BRIEF HISTORY OF INDIA !
The original inhabitants of ancient India were called Adidases, who lived in two cities called Hariappa and Mujhe-na-Darao . These cities had the best drain system in the world and so there was no brain drain from them.
Ancient India was full of myths which have been handed down from son to father. A myth is a female moth. A collection of myths is called mythology, which means stories with female caricatures. One myth says that people in olden times worshipped monkeys because they were our incestors.
In olden times there were two big families in India. One was called the Pandava and the other was called the Karova. They fought amongst themselves in a battle called Mahabharat, after which India came to be known as Mera Bharat Mahan.
In midevil times India was ruled by the Slave Dienasty. So named because they all died a nasty death. Then came the Tughlaqs who shifted their capital from Delhi because of its pollution. They were followed by the Mowglis.
The greatest Mowgli was Akbar because he extinguished himself on the battlefield of Panipat which is in Hurryana . But his son Jehangir was peace loving; he married one Hindu wife and kept 300 porcupines . Then came Shahajahan who had 14 sons. Family planning had not been invented at that time . He also built the Taj Mahal hotel for his wife who now sleeps there. The king sent all his sons away to distant parts of India because they started quarrelling. Dara Seiko was sent to UP, Shaikh Bhakhtiyar was sent to J & K, while Orangezip came to Bombay to fight Shivaji. However, after that they changed its name to Mumbai because Shivaji's sena did not like it. They also do not like New Delhi , so they are calling it Door Darshan .
After the Mowglis came Vasco the Gama. He was an exploder who was circumcising India with a 100 foot clip per. Then came the British. They brought with them many inventions such as cricket, tramtarts and steamed railways. They were followed by the French who brought in French fries, pizzazz and laundry. But Robert Clive drove them out when he deafened Duplex who was out membered since the British had the queen on their side.
Eventually, the British came to overrule India because there was too much diversity in our unity. The British overruled India for a long period. They were great expotents and impotents . They started expoting salt from India and impoting cloth. This was not liked by Mahatma Gandhi who wanted to produce his own salt . This was called the swedish moment.
During this moment, many people burnt their lion cloths in the street and refused to wear anything else. The British became very angry at this and stopped the production of Indian testiles.
In 1920, Mahatma Gandhi was married to one wife. Soon after he involved in productive thought and became the father of the entire nation. In 1942 he started the Quiet India moment, so named because the British were quietly lootaoing our country . In 1947, India became free and its people became freely loving. This increased our population.Its government became a limited mockery, which means people are allowed to take the law in their own hands with the help of the police. Our constipation is the best in the world because it says that no man can be hanged twice for the same crime. It also says you cannot be put in prison if you have not paid your taxis.
Another important thing about our constipation is that it can be changed. This is not possible with the British constipation because it is not written on paper. The Indian Parlemint consists of two houses which are called lower and higher. This is because one Mr Honest Abe, from America, said that two houses divided against itself cannot withstand.
So Pandit Nehru asked the British for freedom at midnight since the British were afraid of the dark . At midnight, on August 15, there was a tryst in Parlemint in which many participated by wearing khaki and hosting the flag.
Recently in India , there have been a large number of scams and a plaque. it can be dangerous because many people died of plaque in Surat . Scams are all over India . One of these was in Bihar where holy cows were not given anything to eat by their elected leader.
The other scam was in Bofor which is a small town in Switzerland, or some such country - kidhar to paisa tha. In this, a lot of Indian money was given to buy a gun which can shoot a coot . Now this money has gone partly to Pakistan, where they have a coot pati called Zardari!!!
Presently India has a coalishun government made up of many parties, left, right and centre . It has started to library the economy. This means that there is now no need for a licence as the economy will be driven by itself.. India is also trying to become an Asian tiger because its own tigers are being poached. Another important event this year was the Shark meeting at Malas Dive. At this place, shark leaders agreed to share their poverty, pollution and population. They are now making it even more dynamic and sexy looking through a string called G 20 - I don't know hy they don't call it G String 20 - all Gs are string - hai na?
A BRIEF HISTORY OF INDIA !
The original inhabitants of ancient India were called Adidases, who lived in two cities called Hariappa and Mujhe-na-Darao . These cities had the best drain system in the world and so there was no brain drain from them.
Ancient India was full of myths which have been handed down from son to father. A myth is a female moth. A collection of myths is called mythology, which means stories with female caricatures. One myth says that people in olden times worshipped monkeys because they were our incestors.
In olden times there were two big families in India. One was called the Pandava and the other was called the Karova. They fought amongst themselves in a battle called Mahabharat, after which India came to be known as Mera Bharat Mahan.
In midevil times India was ruled by the Slave Dienasty. So named because they all died a nasty death. Then came the Tughlaqs who shifted their capital from Delhi because of its pollution. They were followed by the Mowglis.
The greatest Mowgli was Akbar because he extinguished himself on the battlefield of Panipat which is in Hurryana . But his son Jehangir was peace loving; he married one Hindu wife and kept 300 porcupines . Then came Shahajahan who had 14 sons. Family planning had not been invented at that time . He also built the Taj Mahal hotel for his wife who now sleeps there. The king sent all his sons away to distant parts of India because they started quarrelling. Dara Seiko was sent to UP, Shaikh Bhakhtiyar was sent to J & K, while Orangezip came to Bombay to fight Shivaji. However, after that they changed its name to Mumbai because Shivaji's sena did not like it. They also do not like New Delhi , so they are calling it Door Darshan .
After the Mowglis came Vasco the Gama. He was an exploder who was circumcising India with a 100 foot clip per. Then came the British. They brought with them many inventions such as cricket, tramtarts and steamed railways. They were followed by the French who brought in French fries, pizzazz and laundry. But Robert Clive drove them out when he deafened Duplex who was out membered since the British had the queen on their side.
Eventually, the British came to overrule India because there was too much diversity in our unity. The British overruled India for a long period. They were great expotents and impotents . They started expoting salt from India and impoting cloth. This was not liked by Mahatma Gandhi who wanted to produce his own salt . This was called the swedish moment.
During this moment, many people burnt their lion cloths in the street and refused to wear anything else. The British became very angry at this and stopped the production of Indian testiles.
In 1920, Mahatma Gandhi was married to one wife. Soon after he involved in productive thought and became the father of the entire nation. In 1942 he started the Quiet India moment, so named because the British were quietly lootaoing our country . In 1947, India became free and its people became freely loving. This increased our population.Its government became a limited mockery, which means people are allowed to take the law in their own hands with the help of the police. Our constipation is the best in the world because it says that no man can be hanged twice for the same crime. It also says you cannot be put in prison if you have not paid your taxis.
Another important thing about our constipation is that it can be changed. This is not possible with the British constipation because it is not written on paper. The Indian Parlemint consists of two houses which are called lower and higher. This is because one Mr Honest Abe, from America, said that two houses divided against itself cannot withstand.
So Pandit Nehru asked the British for freedom at midnight since the British were afraid of the dark . At midnight, on August 15, there was a tryst in Parlemint in which many participated by wearing khaki and hosting the flag.
Recently in India , there have been a large number of scams and a plaque. it can be dangerous because many people died of plaque in Surat . Scams are all over India . One of these was in Bihar where holy cows were not given anything to eat by their elected leader.
The other scam was in Bofor which is a small town in Switzerland, or some such country - kidhar to paisa tha. In this, a lot of Indian money was given to buy a gun which can shoot a coot . Now this money has gone partly to Pakistan, where they have a coot pati called Zardari!!!
Presently India has a coalishun government made up of many parties, left, right and centre . It has started to library the economy. This means that there is now no need for a licence as the economy will be driven by itself.. India is also trying to become an Asian tiger because its own tigers are being poached. Another important event this year was the Shark meeting at Malas Dive. At this place, shark leaders agreed to share their poverty, pollution and population. They are now making it even more dynamic and sexy looking through a string called G 20 - I don't know hy they don't call it G String 20 - all Gs are string - hai na?
Thursday, September 9, 2010
An Insight into Marriage Problems
Tolstoy begins his "Anna Karenina" with this line: "all happy families are happy in the same way; all the unhappy families unhappy in their own way." Interpersonal problems seem to disagree with Tolstoy. There is a pattern in most of the interpersonal problems of the spouses. These are with the needs of men and women, whether they are complying with each other's needs, at least in a minimum way. People who do not care about the needs of their spouses ultimately end up in the court. Thank their luck, the Indian divorce laws have made it easier for them. I came to this conclusion from the ten years of dealing with divorce issues in a court.
In my interviews with the couples in trouble I have gathered the following are the basic needs of the spouses. Woman's needs are love, conversation, honesty and openness, family commitment and financial support. Man's needs on the other hand are sexual fulfillment, attractive spouse, companionship, admiration.
Next time, when you deal with spouse-problems, try and see if these are true. Perhaps we have new avenues to help them to solve their problems.
In my interviews with the couples in trouble I have gathered the following are the basic needs of the spouses. Woman's needs are love, conversation, honesty and openness, family commitment and financial support. Man's needs on the other hand are sexual fulfillment, attractive spouse, companionship, admiration.
Next time, when you deal with spouse-problems, try and see if these are true. Perhaps we have new avenues to help them to solve their problems.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Three Cheers for "Substance" Users
Fifteen emaciated young adults were lying creased and crumpled on their cots. None of them bothered to raise their head to see the thirty-five or so men and women came to see them. Not that they did not want to, but perhaps they were unable to bother. Crave for the “substance” had taken their will to socialize, even to live. The volunteer guards and the high walls, and the locked iron gates of TREDA (Treatment Rehabilitation and Education of Drug abuse) forced them to stay on. What went on in their minds? No one knows. Perhaps they thought nothing. Felt nothing, except crave for the substance. Anyone who had a glance at these emaciated men could grasp the deadly enslaving effect of the “substance”.
The students who visited the centre had perhaps other things in mind - one I am sure is the report they shoul write and presentations they should prepare. But a nagging thought is this: most of the inmates of the institution are victims of a social system which gives sweet poison labled as extra-nourisher in the children's hand to taste and tell them not to drink. And they say, the choice is theirs! If drinking stopped the multimillion business will crumple. Who will sponsor Bangaluru's 20-20? government will lose the tax and the servants of the public lose kickback. The system needs alcoholics, drug addicts, and so on. Three cheers for substance abusers!
The students who visited the centre had perhaps other things in mind - one I am sure is the report they shoul write and presentations they should prepare. But a nagging thought is this: most of the inmates of the institution are victims of a social system which gives sweet poison labled as extra-nourisher in the children's hand to taste and tell them not to drink. And they say, the choice is theirs! If drinking stopped the multimillion business will crumple. Who will sponsor Bangaluru's 20-20? government will lose the tax and the servants of the public lose kickback. The system needs alcoholics, drug addicts, and so on. Three cheers for substance abusers!
Saturday, August 28, 2010
My World is Filled with Good-Ordinary People
The world is filled with good ordinary people. There are no saints and sinners, bright and dim, but only good and ordinary people. Often we see people and say "how good people are!" Watch them; see how much good is engraved deep into them. Yet they are also very ordinary. They can lie. They can cheat. They can abuse you even for silly reasons. They are even capable of doing harm that we say, how a human being can do that to me. Often in life, humans tend to look at the ordinariness of the people around them. In one's own ways people think more about the hurts that they have received or the evil that they have seen in others. The "good is often interred with their bones" or are blind to them. And we begin to categorize people with our prejudices about them. We loose the gift of pleasure of living with them.
I remember Radhakrishnan from a village near Palaghat. He was an unskilled labourer. One midnight his pregnant wife was in pangs. Being alone in their little hut, he was scared and wanted to take to the hospital, some 16 KMs away. He went around pleading taxi and autos. But none was willing to go to his village breaking their sleep in that dead rainy night. One was willing, but for an exorbitant fare. He did not have that kind of money.
It was already about two in the morning. He carried his wife on his shoulders to the hospital. When she was in labour pains lying in the delivery ward. He sat on the veranda of that government hospital. He thought about the suffering and helplessness of the poor like himself. Sitting on the veranda of that hospital he took decision to buy an auto.
His wife delivered a girl child, but she did not survive to see the baby. Tragedy in spite, Radhakrishnan mortgaged his house and his little plot of land and bought an auto rickshaw and name it Revati. Behind the auto this message was written: "For pregnant women this vehicle is free"
Even today we can see this rickshaw on the roads of Palaghat!
I remember Radhakrishnan from a village near Palaghat. He was an unskilled labourer. One midnight his pregnant wife was in pangs. Being alone in their little hut, he was scared and wanted to take to the hospital, some 16 KMs away. He went around pleading taxi and autos. But none was willing to go to his village breaking their sleep in that dead rainy night. One was willing, but for an exorbitant fare. He did not have that kind of money.
It was already about two in the morning. He carried his wife on his shoulders to the hospital. When she was in labour pains lying in the delivery ward. He sat on the veranda of that government hospital. He thought about the suffering and helplessness of the poor like himself. Sitting on the veranda of that hospital he took decision to buy an auto.
His wife delivered a girl child, but she did not survive to see the baby. Tragedy in spite, Radhakrishnan mortgaged his house and his little plot of land and bought an auto rickshaw and name it Revati. Behind the auto this message was written: "For pregnant women this vehicle is free"
Even today we can see this rickshaw on the roads of Palaghat!
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Psychology of Festivals
The celebrations of Onam by the Keralietes spurred the question: Why do people celebrate? There are many apparent and obvious reasons. But beyond these apparents are there any real psychological reasons? Reasons that would explain why people celebrate festivals.
All cultures, all religions, all ethnic groups, whether they are minority or majority celebrate feasts and festivals. Mostly, when we look for their origins, we hardly find one. It dates back to time immemorial and the communities and societies failed to keep a track of the origins of the festivals. What we have are some legends and myths. It is in here we may look for their psychological implications.
My proposition is this: The celebrations are societies ways of keeping its members healthy. The societies which has more festivals are more happy, more psychologically healthy and more hard working.
Aristotle in his "Poetics" speaking of the usefulness of tragedy brings in the concept of "catharsis." Tragedy purges away the negative emotions from human psyche. Well, something similar is happening when we celebrate festivals. In the legends of Onam we have the society dreaming of a society with good governance, without inequality,etc. When the Bengalees celebrate the festivals of Durga puja or Kali puja, they are dreaming that they personally and socially would be purged of evil they see within them. So are all other festivals. The myths and legends that underlie the festivals bring to surface the human desire for health and wellbeing. They begin to identify and purify, and put on certain elements of what they celebrate.
All cultures, all religions, all ethnic groups, whether they are minority or majority celebrate feasts and festivals. Mostly, when we look for their origins, we hardly find one. It dates back to time immemorial and the communities and societies failed to keep a track of the origins of the festivals. What we have are some legends and myths. It is in here we may look for their psychological implications.
My proposition is this: The celebrations are societies ways of keeping its members healthy. The societies which has more festivals are more happy, more psychologically healthy and more hard working.
Aristotle in his "Poetics" speaking of the usefulness of tragedy brings in the concept of "catharsis." Tragedy purges away the negative emotions from human psyche. Well, something similar is happening when we celebrate festivals. In the legends of Onam we have the society dreaming of a society with good governance, without inequality,etc. When the Bengalees celebrate the festivals of Durga puja or Kali puja, they are dreaming that they personally and socially would be purged of evil they see within them. So are all other festivals. The myths and legends that underlie the festivals bring to surface the human desire for health and wellbeing. They begin to identify and purify, and put on certain elements of what they celebrate.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Some Thoughts on "One Flew over the Cukoo's Nest"
Even after a quarter century, the tragic-comedy "One Flew Over the Cukoo's Nest" has not lost none of its newness. Everytime you see it, you see new aspects in it. This time when I saw it One disturbing sentence keeps ringing. That is what Harding, a supporting actor says, "I'm not just talking about my wife, I'm talking about my LIFE, I can't seem to get that through to you. I'm not just talking about one person, I'm talking about everybody. I'm talking about form. I'm talking about content. I'm talking about interrelationships. I'm talking about God, the devil, Hell, Heaven. Do you understand... FINALLY?" The worldview of life of the hospital perhaps negates everything what is going on in Halrding's mind. How easily our so called 'helth and care'institutions slip into the inhuman rut that the institution that film depicts fell into. The quality of such institutions are not its building, the modern equipments or the highly qualified personnels but the human quality of the persons who dare to be in such instituions. The People of the like of Nurse Ratched (!!!'Rat-ched'the name is disgusting isn't it?)only makes everyone sick. The only person who really needs treatment is she. Hear this opening conversation:
Attendant Warren:Good morning, Miss Ratched.
Nurse Ratched:Good morning.
Attendant Washington:Good morning, Miss Ratched.
Nurse Ratched: !!! (nod)
Miller:Morning.
Nurse Ratched:Good morning.
Nurse Pilbow:Good morning, Miss Ratched.
Nurse Ratched:Good morning.
Attendant Washington:Morning, Bancini.
How impersonal, how uncaring Ratched's are the greetings, even Hitler would have hung his head in shame. Yet those who are to rectify the situation felt that she was the best they have. Why?
Another, this time humorous one we have from Candy (remember the lady who went out with the inmates for fishing!)She getting into the bus asks, though innocently, "You all crazy?" That's the world which thinks they are sane. An outsider hardly understands what goes on inside. No one understood except one who cared, in the film it is Murphy.
Attendant Warren:Good morning, Miss Ratched.
Nurse Ratched:Good morning.
Attendant Washington:Good morning, Miss Ratched.
Nurse Ratched: !!! (nod)
Miller:Morning.
Nurse Ratched:Good morning.
Nurse Pilbow:Good morning, Miss Ratched.
Nurse Ratched:Good morning.
Attendant Washington:Morning, Bancini.
How impersonal, how uncaring Ratched's are the greetings, even Hitler would have hung his head in shame. Yet those who are to rectify the situation felt that she was the best they have. Why?
Another, this time humorous one we have from Candy (remember the lady who went out with the inmates for fishing!)She getting into the bus asks, though innocently, "You all crazy?" That's the world which thinks they are sane. An outsider hardly understands what goes on inside. No one understood except one who cared, in the film it is Murphy.
A mainstream alternative
Last week as part of the video learning class we had a debate on mainstream counseling vs. alternative therapy. The class was divided into two groups and after a brief activity the debate began. At the end of the debate 2 videos were shown on alternative healing – reflexology and hypnotism.
The term alternative is quite misleading when you think about it. An alternative to what? Traditional mainstream system of thought perhaps? The first thing that comes to mind is that alternative therapy is practiced by an unskilled healer in an unscientific manner, or perhaps alternative therapy is just a bit more than a party trick with some mystical element thrown in. Whatever the idea it all boils down to the fact that alternative therapies whatever they are not a by product of positivist science. Is healing (I am using the word deliberately here) can therapy be nothing more than what we have come to believe in? Alternate systems rather what we call alternative now were once the dominant system of healing. Auyuveda, acupuncture, yoga were all validated systems in their era, but as notions of illness and the body changed so did the system. The current system of treating the body and isn’t always accepted neither are all forms of mental health intervention.
Health insurance is a necessity for most of us these days and that ensures that we go to see practitioners who are grounded in the allopathic system and are subject to the coldness that goes with the sterile course of treatment. But in this current system the practitioner is the authority figure who has more knowledge than the sufferer, the symptoms take precedence and they need to be treated. System is applied to say the mental health you get a system that works almost similarly. The client must be treated no doubt but the system can’t expand beyond a point it reaches its limit. Now I don’t say yoga has all the answers it certainly does not. No system of the body or the mind can predict illness or health both concepts are always in a state of flux. No system of medicine can prevent an illness it can only make assumptions sometimes validated assumptions.
What heals or cures is a subjective domain rather than a rule. Illness or maladjustment will remain, but the nature and definition will continue to vary. As new illnesses are invented new systems of cure will emerge .But that doesn’t mean that one system of healing is better or dominant over the other the use of term alternative and mainstream implies a binary opposition. Each system has a point a very valid point the methods are different but the goal remains the same – to cure. To oppose an older system as primitive or to discard it in favour of a newer method only develops a system that is reactionary.
The goal for a practitioner of health- bodily or mental is not to work for the system but for the ever present subject of enquiry the client or the patient.
The term alternative is quite misleading when you think about it. An alternative to what? Traditional mainstream system of thought perhaps? The first thing that comes to mind is that alternative therapy is practiced by an unskilled healer in an unscientific manner, or perhaps alternative therapy is just a bit more than a party trick with some mystical element thrown in. Whatever the idea it all boils down to the fact that alternative therapies whatever they are not a by product of positivist science. Is healing (I am using the word deliberately here) can therapy be nothing more than what we have come to believe in? Alternate systems rather what we call alternative now were once the dominant system of healing. Auyuveda, acupuncture, yoga were all validated systems in their era, but as notions of illness and the body changed so did the system. The current system of treating the body and isn’t always accepted neither are all forms of mental health intervention.
Health insurance is a necessity for most of us these days and that ensures that we go to see practitioners who are grounded in the allopathic system and are subject to the coldness that goes with the sterile course of treatment. But in this current system the practitioner is the authority figure who has more knowledge than the sufferer, the symptoms take precedence and they need to be treated. System is applied to say the mental health you get a system that works almost similarly. The client must be treated no doubt but the system can’t expand beyond a point it reaches its limit. Now I don’t say yoga has all the answers it certainly does not. No system of the body or the mind can predict illness or health both concepts are always in a state of flux. No system of medicine can prevent an illness it can only make assumptions sometimes validated assumptions.
What heals or cures is a subjective domain rather than a rule. Illness or maladjustment will remain, but the nature and definition will continue to vary. As new illnesses are invented new systems of cure will emerge .But that doesn’t mean that one system of healing is better or dominant over the other the use of term alternative and mainstream implies a binary opposition. Each system has a point a very valid point the methods are different but the goal remains the same – to cure. To oppose an older system as primitive or to discard it in favour of a newer method only develops a system that is reactionary.
The goal for a practitioner of health- bodily or mental is not to work for the system but for the ever present subject of enquiry the client or the patient.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
God of the Counsellors
Being a Catholic priest of traditional kind, I am into the ethereal world of God and humans for a moment. Don't be put off, there are interesting mettles there too for the counsellors. The other day, Ms Sunita Menezes when speaking of her counseling experience in the class said something like this: When I have a difficult case at hand, I look up to heavens and pray. And there I always had a mighty power intervening to speak for me. It is in that traditions I dare to write this. Apologies apart, let me come to the point.
One of the interesting names that God of the Holy Bible addresses him/herself is "God of Abraham,God of Jacob, God of Moses". Let the sociologists and Bible scholars interpret it as they want; but for a psychological counsellor this means something else. Here is a God who is wanting to relate with individuals with empthy, or to walk in the shoes of men and women. God is not a unapproachable mighty awesome and benevolent power, to whom humans and the world is a play thing. But here is a God who is longing to relate with men and women in their territory. God does not relate with human beings at macro level, as humanity in general, but as individuals who "struts and frets his hour upon the stage" (Macbeth), as a God who partakes in the daily struggles of human reality. Thus we have the grant idea of incarnation of God - God becoming man and pitching his tent among humans.
This is not unique to Biblical experience of God alone. In the Srimat Bagavad Gita, God Krishna addresses Arjuna thus: "Istasthe Aham Sadimam twam prabannam" - You are beloved to me, so I shall tell you" the secrets of spiritual life. similarly, When Gita states,"Dharma-samthapanarthaya sambhavami yuge yuge" (I incarnate Myself at every juncture of time) to protect and uphold the world, are we not hearing of a God who is interested to be part of human reality, who is so concerned about the world and everything it contains?
Next time when we counsel we can pray to God saying,
God of Martin, or God of Ram" or "God of Sita" (or any other cliant),
come to his/her aid
to put right what has been distorted;
rebuild what is demolished;
re-paint what has been disfigured.
One of the interesting names that God of the Holy Bible addresses him/herself is "God of Abraham,God of Jacob, God of Moses". Let the sociologists and Bible scholars interpret it as they want; but for a psychological counsellor this means something else. Here is a God who is wanting to relate with individuals with empthy, or to walk in the shoes of men and women. God is not a unapproachable mighty awesome and benevolent power, to whom humans and the world is a play thing. But here is a God who is longing to relate with men and women in their territory. God does not relate with human beings at macro level, as humanity in general, but as individuals who "struts and frets his hour upon the stage" (Macbeth), as a God who partakes in the daily struggles of human reality. Thus we have the grant idea of incarnation of God - God becoming man and pitching his tent among humans.
This is not unique to Biblical experience of God alone. In the Srimat Bagavad Gita, God Krishna addresses Arjuna thus: "Istasthe Aham Sadimam twam prabannam" - You are beloved to me, so I shall tell you" the secrets of spiritual life. similarly, When Gita states,"Dharma-samthapanarthaya sambhavami yuge yuge" (I incarnate Myself at every juncture of time) to protect and uphold the world, are we not hearing of a God who is interested to be part of human reality, who is so concerned about the world and everything it contains?
Next time when we counsel we can pray to God saying,
God of Martin, or God of Ram" or "God of Sita" (or any other cliant),
come to his/her aid
to put right what has been distorted;
rebuild what is demolished;
re-paint what has been disfigured.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Invitation to the 3rd semester (counseling) students
The current batch of 3rd semester (Counseling) students have just stepped out of the cozy comfort of intellectual class discussions and random banter around college. They've stepped into the world of their clients - far more serious, complex and emotionally draining than the fun times in pleasantville I'm sure! I must congratulate them on this important milestone. Its not easy. And we as your faculty, have your back - not to worry.
I am a little disappointed that none of the 3rd semester students seem to be contributing to this blog. Especially since they will have so much to share as they find their way through their first counseling experiences. The distress, the triumphs, the affirmations and reaffirmations, the tough realizations of what competent practice in the real world involves, (the realization that you perhaps should have listened to your skills trainer and practiced in triads a bit more!!)...every other such thing.
So here's inviting all the 3rd semester students to write a bit about what the beginner counselor's life's like.
A few ethical guidelines while you attempt to write about your experiences and learnings:
1. Avoid indulging in flippant or demeaning discussions about your clients - we've learnt that somewhere, haven't we? Ethics class??? Yes??? No??? GET OUT OF TOWN!!
2. Focus on YOUR own experiences and learnings - you have a great deal to contribute.
3. Do not let out any identifying details about your placement agency, its management or your clients - we don't want any wild defamation suits landing in Bro. Mathew's lap, do we?!!
4. Avoid using this platform to vent - friends, your personal therapist, a certain Fr. Paul and a random faculty member hanging around campus might just be a better option. No seriously, you should try it!
5. Lets make this a no-profanity-zone
So, what are you waiting for? Get online and type out something precious. We'd all love to hear. What you have to share, is important.
Yours Truly
Tulsi Achia-Menon
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Congratulations
Congratulations to you the blogger. Thanks for the invitation. This is a nice opportunity to connect with one another. Best wishes to you all.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
both sides NOW !
Both sides now . Lyrics Joni Mitchell
Bows and flows of angel hair and ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere, i've looked at cloud that way.
But now they only block the sun, they rain and snow on everyone.
So many things i would have done but clouds got in my way.
I've looked at clouds from both sides now,
From up and down, and still somehow
It's cloud illusions i recall.
I really don't know clouds at all.
Moons and junes and ferris wheels, the dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real; i've looked at love that way.
But now it's just another show. you leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know, don't give yourself away.
I've looked at love from both sides now,
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusions i recall.
I really don't know love at all.
Tears and fears and feeling proud to say "i love you" right out loud,
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds, i've looked at life that way.
But now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads, they say
I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day.
I've looked at life from both sides now,
From win and lose, and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall.
I really don't know life at all.
This song by Joni Mitchell perhaps sums up best what we call empathy. This song has appeared in quite a few movies and has a special something to it. It always manages to give me goose bumps. As with most of her songs or singers of her generation she manages to touch common ground with a diverse group of listeners. Well enough with the music lecture what is special about this song is the carefully written lyrics. The title 'both sides is meaningful as throws light on a deeper understanding of life and of ‘truth’. Maybe truth is too mythical a concept it would be appropriate to call it truthfulness. Wilfred Owen once said, "All a poet can do today is warn. That is why the true poet must be truthful." Owen doesn’t ask for the truth only truthfulness. The truth is often disputed and subjective and selective, truthfulness is honest it acknowledges the others point of view or truthfulness. Truthfulness knows it can change over time, it knows it isn’t finite or unquestionable.
Is truthfulness the same as a lie? No it isn’t. An undisputed truth is closer in its constitution to a lie than truthfulness. A good example of this would be the rashomon effect. The Rashomon effect is the effect of the subjectivity on recollection, by which an observers is able to produce substantially different but equally plausible accounts of an event. It is named after Akira Kurosawa's film Rashomon, in which a crime witnessed by four individuals is described in four mutually contradictory ways. Each individual’s narrative is their own version of the truth.
Similarly Joni Mitchell after experiencing an event isn’t certain or ready to state the truth. She rather keep her options open and allow herself to learn and also experience the same event again. So often our beliefs are rigid and frozen with a few experiences life throws at us that we rather not see things in new light. We are told to believe is good that having a strong conviction is good, yet if our convictions are too strong we tend to hold onto them long after they cease to be useful.
Mitchell wrote this song in 1969. Her candid uncertainty and her courage to say she doesn’t know life at all take courage. Her courage comes not from knowing that she is right but knowing that she can be wrong too- I really don't know life at all………. Can we be uncertain of our certainity ?
link to the video
Bows and flows of angel hair and ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere, i've looked at cloud that way.
But now they only block the sun, they rain and snow on everyone.
So many things i would have done but clouds got in my way.
I've looked at clouds from both sides now,
From up and down, and still somehow
It's cloud illusions i recall.
I really don't know clouds at all.
Moons and junes and ferris wheels, the dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real; i've looked at love that way.
But now it's just another show. you leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know, don't give yourself away.
I've looked at love from both sides now,
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusions i recall.
I really don't know love at all.
Tears and fears and feeling proud to say "i love you" right out loud,
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds, i've looked at life that way.
But now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads, they say
I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day.
I've looked at life from both sides now,
From win and lose, and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall.
I really don't know life at all.
This song by Joni Mitchell perhaps sums up best what we call empathy. This song has appeared in quite a few movies and has a special something to it. It always manages to give me goose bumps. As with most of her songs or singers of her generation she manages to touch common ground with a diverse group of listeners. Well enough with the music lecture what is special about this song is the carefully written lyrics. The title 'both sides is meaningful as throws light on a deeper understanding of life and of ‘truth’. Maybe truth is too mythical a concept it would be appropriate to call it truthfulness. Wilfred Owen once said, "All a poet can do today is warn. That is why the true poet must be truthful." Owen doesn’t ask for the truth only truthfulness. The truth is often disputed and subjective and selective, truthfulness is honest it acknowledges the others point of view or truthfulness. Truthfulness knows it can change over time, it knows it isn’t finite or unquestionable.
Is truthfulness the same as a lie? No it isn’t. An undisputed truth is closer in its constitution to a lie than truthfulness. A good example of this would be the rashomon effect. The Rashomon effect is the effect of the subjectivity on recollection, by which an observers is able to produce substantially different but equally plausible accounts of an event. It is named after Akira Kurosawa's film Rashomon, in which a crime witnessed by four individuals is described in four mutually contradictory ways. Each individual’s narrative is their own version of the truth.
Similarly Joni Mitchell after experiencing an event isn’t certain or ready to state the truth. She rather keep her options open and allow herself to learn and also experience the same event again. So often our beliefs are rigid and frozen with a few experiences life throws at us that we rather not see things in new light. We are told to believe is good that having a strong conviction is good, yet if our convictions are too strong we tend to hold onto them long after they cease to be useful.
Mitchell wrote this song in 1969. Her candid uncertainty and her courage to say she doesn’t know life at all take courage. Her courage comes not from knowing that she is right but knowing that she can be wrong too- I really don't know life at all………. Can we be uncertain of our certainity ?
link to the video
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Random Thoughts on "Alternative Therapies"
When william Blake sang,
To see a world in a grain of san,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour
(From Auguries of Innocence)
he was singing on the never-fully-comprehendible reality in which we live, participate and have our being. It is in participating in that mystery of the universe we can realise ourselves, we become"fully actualised"persons. Perhaps the alternative therapies are attepts to participate int he mystery of that reality.
The little wo/man in that dark corner of the temple in an unknown corner of the world, s/he is trying to be in touch with substratum of realities. S/he in a mysterious way realises there is meaning to everything that happened/happens to her. S/he states deep within, "God within and without, above and below, love flowing from Him (Her!)in his/er veins, everything is/shall/was fine, for good and safe. You name it this therapy or that, isn't this prayer helping her to "Self Actualise" him/er?
The person who practices water therapy understand that s/he is made up of sixty per cent water and links him/er to the elements of the universe. The water, the waters of the ocean shall rise up at high tide and go down at low tide. When you sing the lullaby to the baby the waters in its body rises and falls in waves as the waters on the fullmoon night in a million shapes and hues. It soothes the baby and it lies in peaceful slumber dreaming himself to be among angels and stars. Doesn't the same happen within us when we hear Bhairavi or asveri ragas? We thank Dr Misaru Emoto helping us to see what is happening within us. You call this water therapy, music therapy,or by another name; fine.
So are the other so called alternative therapies. All invies to participate in the
inexplicable mystery of the universe. The mystery out there and insde me are one and the same. Alternative therapies are feeble attempts to relate tothe myteries that can heal, soothe, and live fuller lives. This is never to say that the so called mainstream therapies are out of bound with the mysterious inner wold of human beings. These too are part of that attempts to realte and participate in that we live, participate and have our being.
To see a world in a grain of san,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour
(From Auguries of Innocence)
he was singing on the never-fully-comprehendible reality in which we live, participate and have our being. It is in participating in that mystery of the universe we can realise ourselves, we become"fully actualised"persons. Perhaps the alternative therapies are attepts to participate int he mystery of that reality.
The little wo/man in that dark corner of the temple in an unknown corner of the world, s/he is trying to be in touch with substratum of realities. S/he in a mysterious way realises there is meaning to everything that happened/happens to her. S/he states deep within, "God within and without, above and below, love flowing from Him (Her!)in his/er veins, everything is/shall/was fine, for good and safe. You name it this therapy or that, isn't this prayer helping her to "Self Actualise" him/er?
The person who practices water therapy understand that s/he is made up of sixty per cent water and links him/er to the elements of the universe. The water, the waters of the ocean shall rise up at high tide and go down at low tide. When you sing the lullaby to the baby the waters in its body rises and falls in waves as the waters on the fullmoon night in a million shapes and hues. It soothes the baby and it lies in peaceful slumber dreaming himself to be among angels and stars. Doesn't the same happen within us when we hear Bhairavi or asveri ragas? We thank Dr Misaru Emoto helping us to see what is happening within us. You call this water therapy, music therapy,or by another name; fine.
So are the other so called alternative therapies. All invies to participate in the
inexplicable mystery of the universe. The mystery out there and insde me are one and the same. Alternative therapies are feeble attempts to relate tothe myteries that can heal, soothe, and live fuller lives. This is never to say that the so called mainstream therapies are out of bound with the mysterious inner wold of human beings. These too are part of that attempts to realte and participate in that we live, participate and have our being.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
This Week's Debate
This week video learning gets a little deeper and more academic. The agenda for this Thursday is a debate between mainstream counselling and alternative therapies.
The Groups have been formed to represent the 2 positions. .......... I cant wait :)
The Groups have been formed to represent the 2 positions. .......... I cant wait :)
Monday, August 9, 2010
Existential Psychology
Perhaps, the truth lies in the "Now". It is in the now one finds oneself. The now tells me who I am? What I am? Now is the conglamoration of all my history, all my feelings, all my make up. In the 'now' I can experience the qualities,relationships, events, thoughts, images, memories, fantasies, feelings, acts and so on. My perception of events, persons etc are coloured by what I am. We cannot get rid of that nasty subjectivism, no matter how hard onetries. This inter-connectedness of the subject and object is what is called INTENTIONALITY.
This leads to the big existentialist question: "Who I am?" To put it another way, "What is it to be human?"
The Essence of humanity - the thing that we all share and makes us distinct from everything in the world - is our lack of essence (!), "our no-thing-ness", our freedom. We cannot be captured by philosophical systems, or psychological theories; we cannot be reduced to physical and chemical process; our future cannot be predicted with social statistics. It is true that some of us are black, some of us
are white or brown; some come from this culture or that; some are rich, some are poor; some have one imperfection,some another - the "raw materials" differ dramatically. But it is how we choose to live that makes each of us what we are. We each create ourselves.
We are right in the middle of the universe that is not of our choosing. We are thrown into it. When we begin chooseing our lives, we begin with many choices made for us - genetics, environment, society, family ... etc.
Life is hard. Physical world can give us pain as well as pleasure; the social world can lead to heartbreak and loneliness as well as love and affection; and the personal world contains anxiety, guilt. These are inevitable realities of our life. In the midst of this we have the freedom to choose to be happy by finding meaning and purpose.
We are closely aware of our finality, our death. It is at the face of death perhaps we come to understand life. Aren't we (perhaps) the only creatures who understand our mortality? Face death we should. It is in facing death we face life. And in avoiding death we avoid life itself.
The existential realities should not be denied. For by denying we live inauthentic life. When we live inauthentically we are no longer becoming but only being. If life is a movement, then they have stopped.
To live authentically means to be aware of our freedm and duty to create ourselves of the inevitablity of anxiety, guilt, pain and death. It means to accept these in an act of self-affirmation. It means involvement, compassion, and commitment.
This leads to the big existentialist question: "Who I am?" To put it another way, "What is it to be human?"
The Essence of humanity - the thing that we all share and makes us distinct from everything in the world - is our lack of essence (!), "our no-thing-ness", our freedom. We cannot be captured by philosophical systems, or psychological theories; we cannot be reduced to physical and chemical process; our future cannot be predicted with social statistics. It is true that some of us are black, some of us
are white or brown; some come from this culture or that; some are rich, some are poor; some have one imperfection,some another - the "raw materials" differ dramatically. But it is how we choose to live that makes each of us what we are. We each create ourselves.
We are right in the middle of the universe that is not of our choosing. We are thrown into it. When we begin chooseing our lives, we begin with many choices made for us - genetics, environment, society, family ... etc.
Life is hard. Physical world can give us pain as well as pleasure; the social world can lead to heartbreak and loneliness as well as love and affection; and the personal world contains anxiety, guilt. These are inevitable realities of our life. In the midst of this we have the freedom to choose to be happy by finding meaning and purpose.
We are closely aware of our finality, our death. It is at the face of death perhaps we come to understand life. Aren't we (perhaps) the only creatures who understand our mortality? Face death we should. It is in facing death we face life. And in avoiding death we avoid life itself.
The existential realities should not be denied. For by denying we live inauthentic life. When we live inauthentically we are no longer becoming but only being. If life is a movement, then they have stopped.
To live authentically means to be aware of our freedm and duty to create ourselves of the inevitablity of anxiety, guilt, pain and death. It means to accept these in an act of self-affirmation. It means involvement, compassion, and commitment.
Jesus, "My First Temptation"
"My steps are becoming heavy and tired I sat on a rock facing the valley. A canopy of gree forest waved at me from below in a gentle breeze. I was hungry.
A voice told me, "You kill and eat. That's the way one can survive in the wilderness." The voce was persistent.
I was confused. Perhaps that's what everyone does, I thought. Surge of desire dripped through my veins; violence was waiting to be born. It would drench me. I was scared. I could see the bloody eyes of hatred, hear the cry of the innocent, mourning mothers, march of the guns.
Even one act of violence can light a wildfire of hate and violence, fear and dread. Let that not happen in me; I long. I prayed.
Deer, sheep, cow and other creatures looked into my eyes.
I saw in their eyes reflecting the exuberance of love, the smile of innocence.....
"These shall not be doused; Son of Man shall live by the love."
Cajoling voice was persisiting, "Why wait; they are close at hand. Kill and eat; satisfy your hunger."
I replied, "Man live not by the food alone, but by the word of God."
A voice told me, "You kill and eat. That's the way one can survive in the wilderness." The voce was persistent.
I was confused. Perhaps that's what everyone does, I thought. Surge of desire dripped through my veins; violence was waiting to be born. It would drench me. I was scared. I could see the bloody eyes of hatred, hear the cry of the innocent, mourning mothers, march of the guns.
Even one act of violence can light a wildfire of hate and violence, fear and dread. Let that not happen in me; I long. I prayed.
Deer, sheep, cow and other creatures looked into my eyes.
I saw in their eyes reflecting the exuberance of love, the smile of innocence.....
"These shall not be doused; Son of Man shall live by the love."
Cajoling voice was persisiting, "Why wait; they are close at hand. Kill and eat; satisfy your hunger."
I replied, "Man live not by the food alone, but by the word of God."
Video Learning
Video learning is a complimentary part of the course work that will be followed during this semester. Video learning will incorporate movies screenings and videos of therapy sessions. After each screening a brief discussion will be held by the students and staff to discuss issues that came up during the movie screening.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Video Learning Session 1 Pay it Forward
Pay it forward
As part of the video learning class the MLCU batch was shown Pay It Forward a Hollywood movie. This was the first session.
Trailer:
Date: 5th August 2010
Time: 2 to 4 PM
Venue: conference hall
Summary of the movie: Eugene Simmnet (Kevin Spacey) a social studies teacher gives his class an assignment- to devise a plan and put into action that will change the world for the better. Trevor McKinney (Osment) his (11-year-old) student comes up with a plan pay it forwarda charitable pyramid scheme, based on good deeds rather than profit. "Paying it forward" means the recipient of a favor does a favor for a third party rather than paying the favor back. Trevor does a favor for three people, asking each of them to return the favor by doing favors for three other people, and so on, along a branching tree of good deeds.
His first good deed is to let a homeless man named Jerry (James Caviezel) live in his garage. Jerry pays the favor forward by doing car repairs for Trevor's mother. Trevor's efforts seem to fail when Jerry relapses into his heroin addiction. But Jerry will eventually pay his debt forward later in the film by talking a suicidal woman out of jumping off a bridge.
Trevor's mother Arlene ( Helen Hunt) meets Eugene after discovering Jerry in their house and confronting Eugene about Trevor's project. Trevor then selects Eugene as his next "pay it forward" target and tricks Eugene and Arlene into a romantic dinner date. This also appears to fail, but then Trevor and Arlene argue about her alcoholism and she slaps him in a fit of anger. The two adults are brought together again when Trevor runs away from home and Arlene asks Eugene to help her find him.
The opening scene in the film shows one of the later favors in the "pay it forward" tree, in which a man gives a car to Los Angeles journalist Chris Chandler (Jay Mohr). As the film proceeds, Chris traces the chain of favors back to its origin in Trevor's school project. After her date with Eugene, Arlene paid Trevor's favor forward by forgiving her own mother Grace (Angie Dickinson) for her mistakes in raising Arlene, and Grace, who is homeless, helped a gang member escape from the police. This gang member then helped the daughter of the man who gave Chandler his new car.
After finding Trevor, Arlene begins to pursue Eugene sexually. Eugene has burn marks visible on his neck and face, and he initially resists Arlene's advances. Arlene accepts Eugene's physical disfigurement, but abandons their relationship when her alcoholic ex-husband Ricky (Jon Bon Jovi) returns to her, claiming to have given up drinking. Ricky's return angers Eugene, whose own mother had a habit of taking his abusive, alcoholic father back. He explains that his stepfather intentionally burned him, and he warns Arlene of Ricky's potential to abuse Trevor. When Ricky resumes his abusive behavior, Arlene realizes her mistake and asks him to leave again.
Chandler travels to Las Vegas and identifies Trevor as the originator of "pay it forward" and conducts an interview in which Trevor describes his hopes and concerns for the project. Eugene, hearing Trevor's words, realizes that he and Arlene should be together. As Eugene and Arlene reconcile, Trevor is stabbed while defending a friend against a group of bullies, and consequently dies at the hospital. This news is reported on television, and Eugene and Arlene are soon visited by hundreds of people some of whom are Trevor’s friends and some who have participated in the "pay it forward" movement, gathering in a vigil to pay their respects to Trevor. The movie ends with an ariel view of the neighborhood filling up with a long line of cars.
The themes gathered from the movie were
ð Helping is essential – it is what makes us human. Religious texts point to doing good deeds as a way of showing humanity a path.
ð Learning at any age is possible.
ð Helping is possible doing good to others is possible.
ð Adults are not as open to change and being pro social as children are. Children are more open to new ideas and are more enthusiastic when it comes to acting on instruction.
ð Sometimes people are hesitant to help or to accept help.
ð Narratives of helping people at a personal level were shared.
Cast:
Kevin Spacey as Eugene Simonet
Helen Hunt as Arlene McKinney
Haley Joel Osment as Trevor McKinney
Jay Mohr as Chris Chandler
James Caviezel as Jerry
Angie Dickinson as Grace
Jon Bon Jovi as Ricky McKinney
Running time: 122 minutes
Summary taken from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pay_It_Forward
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